8   

Oh wow, what an exciting new product. You've probably never heard of them, they're called "Oxo Cubes", they're super fucking new.

 4   

Gum x cashews etc: "A friendly man in the queue just told me to suck on deez nuts. Will this roasted selection do?" Tesco, Crouch End

 17   

Sanitary towels X After Eights "No, I said I wanted mints for eating. You thought I was WHAT?" Tesco, Fleet Street