Oh wow, what an exciting new product. You've probably never heard of them, they're called "Oxo Cubes", they're super fucking new.
Gum x cashews etc:
"A friendly man in the queue just told me to suck on deez nuts. Will this roasted selection do?"
Tesco, Crouch End
Sanitary towels X After Eights
"No, I said I wanted mints for eating. You thought I was WHAT?"
Tesco, Fleet Street